I moved in with my fiance in my early 20's. Until then I'd lived at home with my family. My Mom had struggled with weight issues for most of her life and worried about me. I felt like everything I ate was watched and measured, that if I ate just a little less... weighed just a little less, I'd be so much better. I found it overwhelming and was relieved to discover my fiance simply did not care what I ate. Tub of chocolate frosting for dinner? Go for it. It took me years to realize that not caring was not a good thing.
The novelty of eating a tub of frosting wore off pretty quickly and I soon began pouring though easy recipes. I'd become a vegetarian in college and was basically learning how to cook from scratch. I grew up in a home where meat was the centre of the meal and veggies were an afterthought, boiled and placed on the side of the plate. I've always been interesting in cooking healthy food and soon worked out several recipes we enjoyed. Nevertheless I slowly grew fat under the weight of a thousand little lies.
It's easy to lie to yourself. Easy to let things slip past. I'm young, I don't need exercise. I'm busy chasing after the little ones all day, that's enough exercise. I deserve a treat after the day I had (totally ignoring the fact I'd already had several "treats" that day). I'll exercise tomorrow. Sure I've gained weight but it doesn't show. It's just PMS weight, it'll be gone soon. A life without chocolate isn't worth living. Maybe my life will be shorter but it'll be a good life with food I love and enjoy.
My favourite treat was milk chocolate. I'd buy a bag of milk chocolate chips to mix into brownies. Then I'd have a little bowl as a treat... and another... and another. Within a day or so I'd need to buy a new bag so I could make brownies. Days later, when I finally made a pan of brownies, I'd have to buy yet another bag. But the brownie mix made two batches and, while I only needed half a bag of chips per batch, I'd usually snacked enough that I needed another bag in order to make the second batch. And so on.
My daughter commented once that brownies weren't a treat when we had them all the time. At the time I was annoyed because I still felt they were my treat but she was right. A treat is supposed to be something special and out of the ordinary. I was making two batches of brownies every single week. And eating other treats besides.
Then came more lies. It's just that one pair of pants that don't fit. Elastic waistbands are more comfortable anyways. That photo was simply taken at an awkward angle (same with that photo and this one). If I stand at this exact angle with my head tilted just so, I look fine.
There's only so long I could blame the camera and/or crop photos so that all of me wasn't in the shot before admitting it wasn't the camera, it was me.
Now I'm working at telling myself the truth. The more exercise I do, the better healthy food tastes. I crave junk food less when I take care of myself more. There is time every day to exercise. We all have 24 hours and it's not hard to squeeze in 15 minutes to a half hour. Cooking a pot of rice, lentils, garlic, and herbs while tossing a salad takes just as little time than popping a frozen pizza into the oven and is infinitely more satisfying. If you have 15 minutes, you have time to cook a healthy meal. If you routinely don't have 15 minutes, you need to organize your time better.
The one I'm struggling with right now is exercise. Now that I've moved, I need to leave for work just over an hour in advance. I start as early as 6:30am and, when I'm up at 4:30am and walking out the door just before 5:30am, it's hard to get up a half hour earlier to exercise. And it's equally as hard to come home and exercise after working on my feet all day. Plus I need to be in bed around 8:30pm those nights, leaving little time to work out after dinner. This week, however, I start at 7:30am every morning. I'm hoping that a solid week of daily workouts will help get me into a routine of regular exercise again.
As for today, I've been out for a walk, exercised with the Wii My Fitness Coach, and am heading downstairs for a half-hour on the treadmill before dinner. No more lies, no more excuses. It's time to shape my life and be the me I want to be.
An optimist's view on life... one step at a time...
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Sunday, 24 June 2012
Thursday, 21 June 2012
Exercise and all that good stuff
A few years ago, when I weighed 212lbs, I fluffed off mobility issues as "middle age". Rolling over in bed was a struggle. I couldn't do it in my sleep, in fact I had to haul myself over using my headboard. But, well, I was almost 40 years old. I couldn't expect to stay young forever. I woke up every morning with an aching back (which thankfully faded away by breakfast). I chalked that up to an old mattress. Forty(ish) pounds later I know I was deluding myself. Rolling over is easy again and my back never hurts even though I have the same old mattress. These days I revel in how well my body moves.
I got off work early today and suggested a walk to my son. He promptly
asked if we could ride our bikes instead. The busses in our area all
have bike racks so I agreed. We took the bikes downtown and
headed onto the trail. Of course, since he rides his bike regularly and
I've only been riding since the beginning of the month, I almost never
saw him. He'd wait for me by a bridge or bench then, within seconds,
he'd be down the trail again while I peddled along by myself.
The trail, as you can see in the picture to the left, is quite lovely. It wends its way from the downtown core to the lakeside, alongside a creek. There are no interruptions, no roads to cross. It goes under bridges (alongside the creek) along the whole route. I love walking this trail and it's just as nice to ride. I know we're in the middle of the city but I love biking along listening to the birds and the leaves rustling.
When we got to the lake I immediately discovered a swing set off in the corner of the park, facing the lake. I promptly asked my son if he wanted to swing and he did. The swings were quite high off the ground and I had to pull myself up by the chains to get to the seat. There I sat, legs dangling and toes unable to reach the ground, until I asked my son for a push. I also asked him to take a photo. He took six, this was my favourite.
We went home shortly after this photo was taken, which turned out to be a good thing as thunderstorms started rolling in about an hour after we got home. It was clear skies and sunshine for our whole bike ride.
I went for a swim with my son last night and think I'll head downstairs with him soon for another swim. Just because it feels good to get my body moving.
The trail, as you can see in the picture to the left, is quite lovely. It wends its way from the downtown core to the lakeside, alongside a creek. There are no interruptions, no roads to cross. It goes under bridges (alongside the creek) along the whole route. I love walking this trail and it's just as nice to ride. I know we're in the middle of the city but I love biking along listening to the birds and the leaves rustling.
When we got to the lake I immediately discovered a swing set off in the corner of the park, facing the lake. I promptly asked my son if he wanted to swing and he did. The swings were quite high off the ground and I had to pull myself up by the chains to get to the seat. There I sat, legs dangling and toes unable to reach the ground, until I asked my son for a push. I also asked him to take a photo. He took six, this was my favourite.
We went home shortly after this photo was taken, which turned out to be a good thing as thunderstorms started rolling in about an hour after we got home. It was clear skies and sunshine for our whole bike ride.
I went for a swim with my son last night and think I'll head downstairs with him soon for another swim. Just because it feels good to get my body moving.
Saturday, 9 June 2012
The yummiest diet ever
I've been on an "eating from scratch using minimally processed foods with no additives or preservatives" diet for just over a week now. I have no real idea how the diet's going since there hasn't been enough time to judge. I've lost a pound but a single pound is easily lost and gained. However, this is the yummiest diet I've ever been on. I baked banana nut muffins this evening. Organic whole wheat flour, butter, organic bananas, grated and squeezed lemon, real vanilla, and pecans. I ate one a few minutes ago and it nearly melted in my mouth.
Cooking from scratch has been interesting. I have spent most of my adult life cooking meals and come from a family which cooks. So I was surprised to realize how much we do use prepared foods. From bouillon cubes to prepared salad dressing to family dishes that use powdered mixes or canned cream soups for bases... switching to this diet has meant overhauling my kitchen (made easier by letting my kitchen go almost bare for the move) and rethinking a lot of recipes and supplies.
There have been some mistakes. I baked muffins last week and substituted natural peanut butter for the butter, thinking peanut butter banana muffins would be yummy. The peanut butter was too thick and I ended up with peanut butter banana bricks. Then there was the vegetarian gravy recipe I made for poutine, with 2 tbsps of cornstarch. It was more like a savoury vegetarian jell-o. But the successes have majorly outnumbered the mistakes.
My son was so worried when I told him about this new diet. What was he going to eat? No more ice cream from the store? No more pizza pockets? No buying a couple of boxes of Kraft dinner? Those fears dissipated with the first batch of homemade ice cream and totally evaporated with the homemade macaroni and cheese. He just came over here now after squeezing his own apple juice with a garlic press. It was a tad lumpy but he was thrilled with it. "Look Mom, I made apple juice from scratch and it tastes really good!"
On top of the healthy eating, we have so many more options here, exercise wise. I've discovered a trail that starts a block from my home and runs right downtown, as well as a nearby conservation area. This evening I went downstairs to the gym and used the elliptical for a half hour then swam laps for 20 minutes. Tomorrow I think I'll try out the treadmill.
As for now, I think I'll go clean the garlic press.
Cooking from scratch has been interesting. I have spent most of my adult life cooking meals and come from a family which cooks. So I was surprised to realize how much we do use prepared foods. From bouillon cubes to prepared salad dressing to family dishes that use powdered mixes or canned cream soups for bases... switching to this diet has meant overhauling my kitchen (made easier by letting my kitchen go almost bare for the move) and rethinking a lot of recipes and supplies.
There have been some mistakes. I baked muffins last week and substituted natural peanut butter for the butter, thinking peanut butter banana muffins would be yummy. The peanut butter was too thick and I ended up with peanut butter banana bricks. Then there was the vegetarian gravy recipe I made for poutine, with 2 tbsps of cornstarch. It was more like a savoury vegetarian jell-o. But the successes have majorly outnumbered the mistakes.
My son was so worried when I told him about this new diet. What was he going to eat? No more ice cream from the store? No more pizza pockets? No buying a couple of boxes of Kraft dinner? Those fears dissipated with the first batch of homemade ice cream and totally evaporated with the homemade macaroni and cheese. He just came over here now after squeezing his own apple juice with a garlic press. It was a tad lumpy but he was thrilled with it. "Look Mom, I made apple juice from scratch and it tastes really good!"
On top of the healthy eating, we have so many more options here, exercise wise. I've discovered a trail that starts a block from my home and runs right downtown, as well as a nearby conservation area. This evening I went downstairs to the gym and used the elliptical for a half hour then swam laps for 20 minutes. Tomorrow I think I'll try out the treadmill.
As for now, I think I'll go clean the garlic press.
Friday, 25 May 2012
What am I eating?
Last week I bought myself a frozen raspberry lemonade. It tasted good; a sweet, lemony slushie. But as I sipped it, I wondered what on earth I was drinking. The raspberry flavour was completely artificial while the lemon had "lemon flavouring" (along with other unspecified natural flavours and a host of other ingredients). The slushie mixture was made of water and a sugar syrup with even more ingredients. I thought how much better that lemonade would have been with real raspberries, lemon juice, a bit of sugar, and ice.
A few days later I got my daughter a can of iced tea. The front of the can bragged about how it's made from "the best stuff on earth" with real tea and natural flavours. As we were walking along, she turned the can around and started reading the ingredients.
"Sodium hexametaphosphate?" she read with some confusion. "I know sodium is salt but what is hexametaphosphate?"
I had to admit I had no idea. Google has subsequently informed me it's used primarily in laboratories, detergents, paints, and photography applications to keep particles from clumping or settling. Why is it in her tea? Is it that hard to shake the can before drinking?
A hundred years ago, if someone had a glass of iced tea, they had tea, cold water, and sugar with maybe some mint or lemon thrown in for flavour. My daughter's can had 11 ingredients (including water) and six of them were not identifiable as food (mmm... calcium disodium edta anyone?). Even though it was lemon iced tea, there was no mention of lemon in the ingredient list.
The following day I was on a forum where someone asked for healthy meal ideas. One person offered a dessert suggestion that consisted of a ready made pie crust, filled with instant pudding and topped with artificial whipped topping. That was when it hit me. We can go all day, eating food, and manage to eat nothing that isn't crammed full of additives and modified ingredients. And many people do. Why does a package of muffins contain xanthan gum and monoglycerides? Why is the milk in my cream cheese modified? How is it modified?
We move in just under a week. Right now our cupboards are almost empty and most of my cooking supplies have been packed. When I restock our fridge and cupboards in our new home, I am restocking with real foods. If I don't recognize an ingredient, that food is not coming into our house. If the ingredients are modified, same thing.
Right now, what I've been doing is finding recipes for the basic ingredients I usually buy ready made. Things like gravy mix and soup stock. I've also been reading ingredient lists at the grocery store. Next Friday I'll be picking up a paper wrapped package of cream cheese, for example, instead of a tub.
This is how I explained our upcoming diet change to my son. "Remember the time I was tired and didn't feel like chopping the potatoes for poutine and we just went out and bought a package of frozen fries? It was a bit quicker but it didn't taste as good as when we usually make it. Now, instead of using powdered gravy mix, I'm going to make my own and it'll taste even better."
I'm wracking my brains for a conclusion but am too tired. I got kept up last night by a bunch of kids skateboarding under my bedroom window. Then, when I tried to take a small nap this afternoon, people outside my building started operating a power washer, a jack hammer, and some piece of heavy machinery that alternated between ramming into something metal and backing up while beeping. Oh, and someone's car horn got stuck and was constantly honking. ALL AT ONCE! That nap didn't happen. My son's due home in 10 minutes. It's totally quiet now. So, in conclusion, here's a gratuitous shot of the teeny bit of the solar eclipse I saw this weekend (taken from a friend's van window)...
A few days later I got my daughter a can of iced tea. The front of the can bragged about how it's made from "the best stuff on earth" with real tea and natural flavours. As we were walking along, she turned the can around and started reading the ingredients.
"Sodium hexametaphosphate?" she read with some confusion. "I know sodium is salt but what is hexametaphosphate?"
I had to admit I had no idea. Google has subsequently informed me it's used primarily in laboratories, detergents, paints, and photography applications to keep particles from clumping or settling. Why is it in her tea? Is it that hard to shake the can before drinking?
A hundred years ago, if someone had a glass of iced tea, they had tea, cold water, and sugar with maybe some mint or lemon thrown in for flavour. My daughter's can had 11 ingredients (including water) and six of them were not identifiable as food (mmm... calcium disodium edta anyone?). Even though it was lemon iced tea, there was no mention of lemon in the ingredient list.
The following day I was on a forum where someone asked for healthy meal ideas. One person offered a dessert suggestion that consisted of a ready made pie crust, filled with instant pudding and topped with artificial whipped topping. That was when it hit me. We can go all day, eating food, and manage to eat nothing that isn't crammed full of additives and modified ingredients. And many people do. Why does a package of muffins contain xanthan gum and monoglycerides? Why is the milk in my cream cheese modified? How is it modified?
We move in just under a week. Right now our cupboards are almost empty and most of my cooking supplies have been packed. When I restock our fridge and cupboards in our new home, I am restocking with real foods. If I don't recognize an ingredient, that food is not coming into our house. If the ingredients are modified, same thing.
Right now, what I've been doing is finding recipes for the basic ingredients I usually buy ready made. Things like gravy mix and soup stock. I've also been reading ingredient lists at the grocery store. Next Friday I'll be picking up a paper wrapped package of cream cheese, for example, instead of a tub.
This is how I explained our upcoming diet change to my son. "Remember the time I was tired and didn't feel like chopping the potatoes for poutine and we just went out and bought a package of frozen fries? It was a bit quicker but it didn't taste as good as when we usually make it. Now, instead of using powdered gravy mix, I'm going to make my own and it'll taste even better."
I'm wracking my brains for a conclusion but am too tired. I got kept up last night by a bunch of kids skateboarding under my bedroom window. Then, when I tried to take a small nap this afternoon, people outside my building started operating a power washer, a jack hammer, and some piece of heavy machinery that alternated between ramming into something metal and backing up while beeping. Oh, and someone's car horn got stuck and was constantly honking. ALL AT ONCE! That nap didn't happen. My son's due home in 10 minutes. It's totally quiet now. So, in conclusion, here's a gratuitous shot of the teeny bit of the solar eclipse I saw this weekend (taken from a friend's van window)...
Monday, 20 February 2012
Feeling very positive!
Yesterday my son and I went to visit friends. They have a workout room and a pool in their condo and we went downstairs to exercise for a half hour (then relaxed in the hot tub afterwards... what a treat). I've been wanting a picture of me exercising for my diet scrapbook but don't think cameras are allowed upstairs at the Y. I've never seen anyone taking a photo up there and they don't even have pictures of the exercise area on their website. First thing I did was get my son to take a photo of me on the elliptical.
I exercised with the My Fitness Coach this morning then went out for a walk with my Dad and my son (and my sister's dog). I made a big pot of lentil-vegetable stew for lunch today too (with plenty of leftovers for work).
I weighed and measured myself this morning and have lost two pounds. I've also lost half an inch off my neck, arm, hips, and thigh and an inch off my waist. Then I went onto SparkPeople and looked at my beginning numbers there from January 1, 2009 to compare to now.
January 2009..........February 2012
Weight: 212lbs........Weight: 170lbs
Waist: 44in...............Waist: 37in
Hips: 46in................Hips: 41in
Neck: 16in...............Neck: 14.5in
It didn't seem like much of a difference, day to day, but it sure adds up. Each "that food was so yummy but I am truly full and there will be yummy food again... I'm not getting seconds"... each "I'm not going to eat chocolate just because it's there... I'll wait until I truly want some than have a little bit"... each "I'm going to start my day off right with some exercise, I'll feel better than if I slept for an extra 20 minutes"... they all build up and make a huge difference by the end. One drop of water, by itself, is tiny. All together they make the ocean.
Last May I was so excited because I dropped down to 169lbs... for a day... after a wicked chest cold (I'd barely eaten anything that week). This time I know that I'll be in the 160's the next time I weigh myself and it won't be because of illness and lack of food. And I'll keep doing better from there.
Saturday, 24 September 2011
Good news and bad news
So the good news is I'm finally off this plateau. The bad news is it's because I gained weight and I'm now sitting at 180lbs. Okay so there really isn't a good news in this scenario, but the blog's titled "Positive Steps" and I have to work with what I've got.
Yesterday, son asked me if he could take the Wii (and the TV) into his room since I never use the My Fitness Coach anymore. I thought back and realized it had been about a month since the last time I used it. The answer was "no" (nice try though child). I've been slacking off with exercise classes as well. It's too easy to send him off to the Y on his own so I can get some quiet writing time; too easy to say "I'll go next time".
When the answer to "Am I feeling stressed?" is yes, my response invariably is to eat chocolate. Sometimes I throw peanut butter into the mix as well for variety. Note, this response has never, in the past 41 years, actually cured the stress. But it tastes good and I keep figuring that something so tasty might work someday.
This time it worked 8lbs worth.
I dug out the My Fitness Coach and found a Wii remote with working batteries. It's all set and waiting for the morning. Anyone who's got this program knows what the Physical Challenge is. For those that don't, you weigh and measure yourself then measure your resting heart rate and active heart rate (by performing two minutes of jumping jacks). Then you do sit ups, push ups, and stretches. This is what I did this evening so I can do the actual program in the morning.
Dinner tonight is a salad made with mixed greens and some funky tomatoes from the Farmer's Market. Plus I made a mixed vegetable pizza on PC stone-baked cheese flatbread. I'm eating without my son tonight, as I have no idea whatsoever where he is.
A friend of mine called about a half-hour ago and, in the course of the conversation asked what son was doing. I informed him I didn't have a clue. He went on a sleepover last night and I worked today until 3pm. When I got off work, son wasn't home and his cellphone is off. He did turn it on briefly and called to ask if we could go to Blockbuster soon because they have the Nintendo 3DS on for some incredibly low price ($99? $95? somewhere around there). I asked him where he was and was told the 401... so I feel reasonably sure he's somewhere in the Greater Toronto Area.
I assured my friend that son was indeed in a car and not walking along the highway. Then my friend asked what my daughter's doing and I had to say "I've got no frigging clue".
Long silence...
... so you know where your cats are right?
They're indoor cats so I was able to assure him that all three cats were safe and accounted for. See...
Son has since called back and clarified he's in the next town over, still checking out Blockbuster and still with his friends and their Dad. And I can be sure that he'll be home sometime before bed tonight.
I don't claim to be a perfect parent but my goal isn't to be perfect. It's to raise my children so they can be healthy and independent adults. Considering my autistic teenager is currently out comparison shopping for Nintendo products with his friends, I don't think I'm doing that badly.
And, while he's out window shopping... I'm heading across the street for a walk in the autumn sunshine!
Yesterday, son asked me if he could take the Wii (and the TV) into his room since I never use the My Fitness Coach anymore. I thought back and realized it had been about a month since the last time I used it. The answer was "no" (nice try though child). I've been slacking off with exercise classes as well. It's too easy to send him off to the Y on his own so I can get some quiet writing time; too easy to say "I'll go next time".
When the answer to "Am I feeling stressed?" is yes, my response invariably is to eat chocolate. Sometimes I throw peanut butter into the mix as well for variety. Note, this response has never, in the past 41 years, actually cured the stress. But it tastes good and I keep figuring that something so tasty might work someday.
This time it worked 8lbs worth.
I dug out the My Fitness Coach and found a Wii remote with working batteries. It's all set and waiting for the morning. Anyone who's got this program knows what the Physical Challenge is. For those that don't, you weigh and measure yourself then measure your resting heart rate and active heart rate (by performing two minutes of jumping jacks). Then you do sit ups, push ups, and stretches. This is what I did this evening so I can do the actual program in the morning.
Dinner tonight is a salad made with mixed greens and some funky tomatoes from the Farmer's Market. Plus I made a mixed vegetable pizza on PC stone-baked cheese flatbread. I'm eating without my son tonight, as I have no idea whatsoever where he is.
A friend of mine called about a half-hour ago and, in the course of the conversation asked what son was doing. I informed him I didn't have a clue. He went on a sleepover last night and I worked today until 3pm. When I got off work, son wasn't home and his cellphone is off. He did turn it on briefly and called to ask if we could go to Blockbuster soon because they have the Nintendo 3DS on for some incredibly low price ($99? $95? somewhere around there). I asked him where he was and was told the 401... so I feel reasonably sure he's somewhere in the Greater Toronto Area.
I assured my friend that son was indeed in a car and not walking along the highway. Then my friend asked what my daughter's doing and I had to say "I've got no frigging clue".
Long silence...
... so you know where your cats are right?
They're indoor cats so I was able to assure him that all three cats were safe and accounted for. See...
Son has since called back and clarified he's in the next town over, still checking out Blockbuster and still with his friends and their Dad. And I can be sure that he'll be home sometime before bed tonight.
I don't claim to be a perfect parent but my goal isn't to be perfect. It's to raise my children so they can be healthy and independent adults. Considering my autistic teenager is currently out comparison shopping for Nintendo products with his friends, I don't think I'm doing that badly.
And, while he's out window shopping... I'm heading across the street for a walk in the autumn sunshine!
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