So I worked today then came home and realized that tomorrow's a holiday. And unless we and the cats want to eat canned tomatoes and leftover soup until Tuesday, I needed to go grocery shopping.
I did my usual glance through the kitchen and headed out. Started down the frozen food aisle and noticed our grocery store is now selling President's Choice Vegetarian Scallopine. Which looked like breaded frozen soy something or other and take 20 minutes to bake. They were also $12 a box and I didn't have a clue in the world what "scallopine" is or what I'd serve it with. So I bought a box (I decided two might be a *little* extravagant).
I got home and my son asked if we were having hot and sour soup for dinner tonight. Fair question as it was 5pm by then and he's been wanting it for three days now (note I haven't made it for three days, he's just wanted it). I said, "Sure, I'll make it right after I go online and check Facebook". Son got himself a bowl of chips and settled down with a movie.
Eventually I wandered into the kitchen and started making peanut butter pudding. We have one pot I use to make the pudding and needed it for the soup as well. I figured it made more sense to have the pudding chilling while the soup cooked than to start the pudding when the soup was ready to serve. Plus I wanted pudding more than I wanted soup. As I was mixing the dry ingredients I remembered I'd used the last of the pureed garlic several days earlier and needed it for the soup. I use it instead of soya sauce. The recipe calls for four tablespoons of soya sauce as well as soup stock, which is a bit on the mouth puckering side so I substitute all the soya sauce with garlic.
Since I'm not quite talented enough to make pudding at home AND run across the street to the grocery store, I sent my son instead. I explained to him it was urgent and he had to run now. So he wandered into the washroom then came back out a few minutes later wearing one flip flop. "I am hurrying", he explained. I don't think we're using the same dictionary.
A few minutes later he called from the store...
Son: Where's the garlic?
Me: It's in the produce section over by the lettuce.
Me: Produce... you know the boxes of lettuce I buy.
Son: Huh? You mean salad dressing?
Me: *facepalm* No lettuce... boxes and bags of lettuce.
Son: Oh, I think I'm there.
Me: Do you see the garlic. Jars of garlic.
Son: I don't know.
Me: You've bought them before; several times. I'm not there, if you can't find it ask for help.
Son: (to someone else) I need garlic
Me: (prompting) Pureed garlic
Son: Parade garlic
Me: *facepalm* PUREED garlic PUREED!!!
Son: (silence) Oh, PA-RADE garlic
Muffled sales clerk: We don't have that anymore
*any more? does this mean they sold it before? Mental image of garlic marching down the shelves*
Son: There's other garlic here Mom, it's in little bits.
Me: I don't want minced garlic, it needs to be mushy for the soup.
Son: We could just put it through the blender.
*obviously he's not the one scraping the garlic out of said blender or washing it afterward*
Me: No way... I'm not putting a tiny container of garlic in a blender.
Son: But they don't have it.
Me: Oh for the love of god child, it's garlic, they've got to have it. Tell him it's white and mashed in a jar.
Faint voice in the background: I think he's saying pureed garlic, I can show him where that is.
*angel voices start singing*
Son: The other worker knows where it is.
Me: (fist pump) Yes! Go get it child!
So I go back to making the pudding and son comes home. By this time the store is closed. I reach into the bag and pull out a jar... of minced garlic.
That's why we're having vegetarian scallopine for dinner tonight. I'm still not sure what to do with it but I'm topping it with leftover rose sauce and calling it good enough.