Random Acts of Kindness

The sun was barely peeking over the nearby buildings when I got downtown to wait for my connecting bus. There were four of us at the stop. Myself, as usual, clutching a pen and jotting ideas and dialogue in a notebook; a man staring disinterestedly at the road; and two older woman leaning against a brick wall, smoking and chatting with each other.

A young couple in their early twenties walked up to them. The  man asked if they had a lighter he could borrow and the one of the ladies, wearing a uniform from a national doughnut store chain, reached into her purse and handed it to him. She commented on how glad she was he hadn't asked for a cigarette, she was getting asked all the time and couldn't afford to give them to everyone, she could barely afford them for herself.

The four of them commiserated briefly about the price of smokes and how frequently people asked for them these days then the young couple turned to walk away. They took one step then the man turned back and asked, "Do you play the lottery?"

The woman looked confused, then nodded and agreed that she played when she could. He smiled, told her today was her lucky day, and handed her a crisp new twenty dollar bill, before walking away. She stared after him in astonishment, barely managing to stammer thanks.

I think, when random acts of kindness are mentioned, we end up thinking we can't do much. The little we can offer is just a pittance. After all, when you get right down to it, what could twenty dollars do?

I got on the bus with that lady, who was quite overcome by the money. She was in the last week of her job, going on sick leave in a few days. She's suffering from severe pain caused by bone growths in her knee and just can't handle working eight hours on her feet anymore. All that helps is expensive pain medication. She'd just run out and didn't have enough money to buy her new prescription. That $20 covered the gap.

I don't know how that young man felt when he handed her the money. Hopefully pride that he was able to help but he'll never know how much it meant to her. All he heard was her startled "thanks" before he walked away. It was the people on the bus who discovered how much this meant to her, not him.

That's the thing about random acts of kindness. You don't know. You have no idea what it means to the person you reach out to. It might mean nothing but then again, it might mean the world. It's random. I think the most important part is to reach out and do the best you can with what you have. We're all a candle in the darkness and it's up to us to share our flame.

My Christmas Wish

I love Christmas. It's, hands down, my most favourite holiday. I love the lights, the music, the decorations, the candles, picking out presents for family and friends, writing cards, receiving cards (and finding out how friends and family have fared over the previous year), baking, and spending time with family and friends. I've got bins of candles and decorations. Each year I swear I'm going to wait until November 25th before I start decorating. Each year I cave about a week early.

But what I love the most about the holiday is the spirit. I love how this holiday brings everyone together no matter what their culture or religion. I'm sure there are people out there who hate the holiday but I have yet to met one. I've got coworkers who come to work one week with their hands decorated for Eid and the next week they're oohing over Christmas ornaments and which ones to get. I've got friends who go right from celebrating Hanukkah to stuffing stockings for the kids. Christmas is ingrained in our culture.

The only thing I hate about Christmas are the emails and messages determined to turn the holiday into an "us against them" situation. The mildest are the "show you're going to put the CHRIST into CHRISTmas" forwards and shares. I know Christians celebrate the birth of Christ on December 25... even though it wasn't the actual day of his birth. If someone wants to celebrate Christmas with minimal fuss and decorations, remembering Christ as their saviour, and attending church during their holiday, that is their choice and I respect it. What I don't respect is the underlying divisiveness. Show that you put Christ in Christmas (unlike some others). I thought it was part of the Christian religion to be meek and never boastful about your faith. To pray quietly and privately. Giant shout outs to prove who celebrates Christ the most seems neither meek or private.

The emails that bother me the most are the truly divisive ones that start off announcing they don't care who they offend and usually end with an "if you don't like this, move back to your own country". When on earth did prejudice and racism become part of Christmas?

I don't know anyone who refers to a Christmas tree as a Holiday tree. The emails go around constantly every holiday season yet the only time I've ever heard of a "holiday tree" was years ago in Toronto. And, from what I remember, it was a group of white Christians who were worried they might offend others if they called it a Christmas tree (despite the tree standing without complaint for years).

I know that some schools have Holiday or Winter Concerts instead of Christmas Concerts. Our elementary school was very multi-cultural and had a Winter Concert. We still had a bunch of kindergarten kids singing "Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer" (if they weren't talking to each other, waving at family, or picking their noses), grade one kids singing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" and grade two kids singing "I'm getting nutting for Christmas". Somewhere, I think there's a law stating those three songs are mandatory in concerts. I've heard that some schools don't allow any Christmas carols at all in the concerts. I think that's a shame. A winter concert should have songs from all sorts of cultures... and that includes Christmas carols.

As for people who look at advertisements to *prove* Christmas is turning into a generic holiday season... just pardon me while I laugh for a minute...

... okay... advertisements are written by people who want to sell products. They don't really care who's buying the product. They don't care if you're buying that doll as a Christmas present or a Hanukkah gift or for Kwanzaa... they just want the darn thing sold. I spent years teaching my kids not to look to advertising for facts, only to find out there's adults who look at Wal-Mart ads to find proof of how their holiday is celebrated.

And then there's the people who believe they own Christmas and list demands of who is allowed and not allowed to celebrate *their* holiday. How on earth could my tree, stockings, and decorations offend anyone? Scroll up... do they look horribly offensive?

So my biggest wish this holiday season is for my friends to celebrate which ever holiday (or holidays) they choose and to have a great time. Spend time with the people you care about... show them you love them... and stop frigging worrying about whether everyone else is celebrating the same way as you. Let them celebrate the way they want. I assure you that your own holidays will be a lot more enjoyable.