Monday, 30 January 2012

I wish I were a bear

Hibernation sounds so good right about now. This is my life...

I get up, dark and early, then head off to work in the cold and dark. In the summer, the sun is already up when I head out. These days I'm at work for close to an hour before it's light out. I work hard for 8 hours... hoping I'll stay the whole shift because I could use the money... and half hoping I'll get sent home early because I could use the break. It's a crap shoot; they tend to send someone home early each day. Sometimes it's me, then I just hope I'm not sent home too early. One really good thing about work these days is it's always warm there. Otherwise I'm cold most of the time.

I walk home and it's overcast and, often, drizzling. It hasn't been very cold this winter but the chill gets right into my bones so I'm shivering and a bit achy by the end of the walk.

Then comes the next part of my day. I get changed into pjs and curl up here in front of my electric fireplace. The heater blows directly onto the small of my back. I can and do spend hours here these days. I'm at the kitchen table writing this right now and my feet feel like blocks of ice... I can't wait to curl up by the fire again.

Every day I think "I'm going to do something different today. I'm going to the Y tonight. I'm going to go for a walk right after work." Then I look outside at the puddles on the sidewalk, the grey clouds and feel the chill in the air and think, "Well the fireplace looks like a good option". And then I curl up to read.

I'm sure there are people out there who love this time of year. I'm not one of them. I'm craving sunshine through green leaves, warm breezes brushing against my skin. I want to wake up to sunlight leaking through my curtains. I want to get off work, knowing sunset isn't for another 6 hours and I've got plenty of time to head out for yet another walk.

In the summer I've got energy to burn. I'll go on walks that leave my kids pleading for me to give them a rest so they can keep up. In the winter, I'm begging them to go across the street for milk, because I'm so tired.

I wish I were a bear and I could hibernate until the snowdrops start pushing their way through the frost and buds begin unfurling on the branches. Since I'm not, you'll find me in front of my fireplace, dreaming of the spring.

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