(Attempts at) exercise...

I've got the day off today and my son went back to school, leaving me seven whole hours to myself. Talk about bliss! Or it would have been if I didn't immediately tackle his room in search of dishes and laundry. Now I know why he has nothing to wear the day after I do the laundry and where on earth all my bowls and spoons went. I'm *this* close to slapping a condemned sign on his door and writing it off.

After I carried a few loads of dishes into the kitchen and heaped my laundry basket with all the clothes son didn't see, I decided to head downstairs to the gym. I bought a new exercise bra this weekend and an arm band for my MP3 player and wanted to try them out.

Also, I'd dearly love to know if I'm the only one who's ever accidentally hog-tied themselves with an exercise bra and if it gets easier to put on. I'm a bit scared of that thing now.

I walked into the gym and there was a lady on the treadmill. Kiss of death, she had the TV on; that's when I know someone's there for the long haul. The treadmill's the best piece of equipment in the room, especially now that the elliptical died. The elliptical's usable but there's no resistance option now that the battery's dead.

And, of course, she turned the TV up shortly after I arrived. Maybe she was concerned I wouldn't hear the TV through my headphones. I already keep the music low enough I can hold conversations with my headphones on, when the TV's turned up, I can't hear the music at all. Thanks lady but I'm not interested in the beautiful doctors or Jamie Lee Curtis.

I exercised for fifteen minutes (missing my 20 minutes on the treadmill) then headed over to the pool area and discovered it's closed for a pump issue. Thankfully it should be open by this evening. When I left the room, the lady was still on the treadmill.

I walked into the elevator in gym clothes and runners, a towel draped over one arm, water bottle in the other hand, headphones over my ears, and an MP3 player strapped onto my upper arm. There's a woman in the elevator. She looks over and asks, "Are you doing laundry?" I wonder if she'll ask if I'm going to the gym when I drag my waist high laundry basket downstairs.

And now, while it's quiet, I'm going back to edit Small Dreams a bit more.

--------> off to sharpen my hatchet

My time to shine

I wrote this blog in January and it's so true: I wish I were a bear. Every winter I'm so tired, slow, and cold. I don't want to go outside. I live in front of our electric fireplace and wear slippers to bed. I'd wear slippers to work too if I could fit them in my shoes.

But now it's July and I'm at the opposite end of the energy chart. I got up this morning and used the Wii My Fitness Coach. Then I dragged my son out for a hike. Drag was almost completely literal. He did not want to go at all. Of course, when we got to the conservation area he was thrilled and loved the walk.

The walk was great. We walked up and down steep hills, as seen in the photo, and climbed on rocks across little creeks. We joked around about the signs. One trail sign showed a white bear with an arrow pointed from the mouth down toward the backside. We immediately had to go on the "eaten by a polar bear" trail... where we saw nothing more than mosquitoes.

After lunch we went to our outdoor pool and splashed around for a good hour. Racing each other back and forth across the pool. Diving to the bottom just to see what was there (a white ball). Then racing each other some more.

Now that we've had dinner, I'm all set to go out again. Another walk? A half-hour on the treadmill? How about a bike ride? A bike ride sounds wonderful and I know son loves to ride his bike.

Son's already had a bath and is tuckered out from all the exercise we've done today. He's too tired to go on a bike ride. So now I'm heading out on my own while he tries to recuperate. I hope he rests up because I've got plans of heading out for a bike ride first thing tomorrow morning.

And this winter I'm hoping our indoor pool and gym (with a sauna) will be enough to lure me out on dark chilly nights, when all I want to do is sit in front of the fireplace and doze.

A Thousand Little Lies

I moved in with my fiance in my early 20's. Until then I'd lived at home with my family. My Mom had struggled with weight issues for most of her life and worried about me. I felt like everything I ate was watched and measured, that if I ate just a little less... weighed just a little less, I'd be so much better. I found it overwhelming and was relieved to discover my fiance simply did not care what I ate. Tub of chocolate frosting for dinner? Go for it. It took me years to realize that not caring was not a good thing.

The novelty of eating a tub of frosting wore off pretty quickly and I soon began pouring though easy recipes. I'd become a vegetarian in college and was basically learning how to cook from scratch. I grew up in a home where meat was the centre of the meal and veggies were an afterthought, boiled and placed on the side of the plate. I've always been interesting in cooking healthy food and soon worked out several recipes we enjoyed. Nevertheless I slowly grew fat under the weight of a thousand little lies.

It's easy to lie to yourself. Easy to let things slip past. I'm young, I don't need exercise. I'm busy chasing after the little ones all day, that's enough exercise. I deserve a treat after the day I had (totally ignoring the fact I'd already had several "treats" that day). I'll exercise tomorrow. Sure I've gained weight but it doesn't show. It's just PMS weight, it'll be gone soon. A life without chocolate isn't worth living. Maybe my life will be shorter but it'll be a good life with food I love and enjoy.

My favourite treat was milk chocolate. I'd buy a bag of milk chocolate chips to mix into brownies. Then I'd have a little bowl as a treat... and another... and another. Within a day or so I'd need to buy a new bag so I could make brownies. Days later, when I finally made a pan of brownies, I'd have to buy yet another bag. But the brownie mix made two batches and, while I only needed half a bag of chips per batch, I'd usually snacked enough that I needed another bag in order to make the second batch. And so on.

My daughter commented once that brownies weren't a treat when we had them all the time. At the time I was annoyed because I still felt they were my treat but she was right. A treat is supposed to be something special and out of the ordinary. I was making two batches of brownies every single week. And eating other treats besides.

Then came more lies. It's just that one pair of pants that don't fit. Elastic waistbands are more comfortable anyways. That photo was simply taken at an awkward angle (same with that photo and this one). If I stand at this exact angle with my head tilted just so, I look fine.

There's only so long I could blame the camera and/or crop photos so that all of me wasn't in the shot before admitting it wasn't the camera, it was me.

Now I'm working at telling myself the truth. The more exercise I do, the better healthy food tastes. I crave junk food less when I take care of myself more. There is time every day to exercise. We all have 24 hours and it's not hard to squeeze in 15 minutes to a half hour. Cooking a pot of rice, lentils, garlic, and herbs while tossing a salad takes just as little time than popping a frozen pizza into the oven and is infinitely more satisfying. If you have 15 minutes, you have time to cook a healthy meal. If you routinely don't have 15 minutes, you need to organize your time better.

The one I'm struggling with right now is exercise. Now that I've moved, I need to leave for work just over an hour in advance. I start as early as 6:30am and, when I'm up at 4:30am and walking out the door just before 5:30am, it's hard to get up a half hour earlier to exercise. And it's equally as hard to come home and exercise after working on my feet all day. Plus I need to be in bed around 8:30pm those nights, leaving little time to work out after dinner. This week, however, I start at 7:30am every morning. I'm hoping that a solid week of daily workouts will help get me into a routine of regular exercise again.

As for today, I've been out for a walk, exercised with the Wii My Fitness Coach, and am heading downstairs for a half-hour on the treadmill before dinner. No more lies, no more excuses. It's time to shape my life and be the me I want to be.

Exercise and all that good stuff

A few years ago, when I weighed 212lbs, I fluffed off mobility issues as "middle age". Rolling over in bed was a struggle. I couldn't do it in my sleep, in fact I had to haul myself over using my headboard. But, well, I was almost 40 years old. I couldn't expect to stay young forever. I woke up every morning with an aching back (which thankfully faded away by breakfast). I chalked that up to an old mattress. Forty(ish) pounds later I know I was deluding myself. Rolling over is easy again and my back never hurts even though I have the same old mattress. These days I revel in how well my body moves.

I got off work early today and suggested a walk to my son. He promptly asked if we could ride our bikes instead. The busses in our area all have bike racks so I agreed. We took the bikes downtown and headed onto the trail. Of course, since he rides his bike regularly and I've only been riding since the beginning of the month, I almost never saw him. He'd wait for me by a bridge or bench then, within seconds, he'd be down the trail again while I peddled along by myself.

The trail, as you can see in the picture to the left, is quite lovely. It wends its way from the downtown core to the lakeside, alongside a creek. There are no interruptions, no roads to cross. It goes under bridges (alongside the creek) along the whole route. I love walking this trail and it's just as nice to ride. I know we're in the middle of the city but I love biking along listening to the birds and the leaves rustling.

When we got to the lake I immediately discovered a swing set off in the corner of the park, facing the lake. I promptly asked my son if he wanted to swing and he did. The swings were quite high off the ground and I had to pull myself up by the chains to get to the seat. There I sat, legs dangling and toes unable to reach the ground, until I asked my son for a push. I also asked him to take a photo. He took six, this was my favourite.

We went home shortly after this photo was taken, which turned out to be a good thing as thunderstorms started rolling in about an hour after we got home. It was clear skies and sunshine for our whole bike ride.

I went for a swim with my son last night and think I'll head downstairs with him soon for another swim. Just because it feels good to get my body moving.

The yummiest diet ever

I've been on an "eating from scratch using minimally processed foods with no additives or preservatives" diet for just over a week now. I have no real idea how the diet's going since there hasn't been enough time to judge. I've lost a pound but a single pound is easily lost and gained. However, this is the yummiest diet I've ever been on. I baked banana nut muffins this evening. Organic whole wheat flour, butter, organic bananas, grated and squeezed lemon, real vanilla, and pecans. I ate one a few minutes ago and it nearly melted in my mouth.

Cooking from scratch has been interesting. I have spent most of my adult life cooking meals and come from a family which cooks. So I was surprised to realize how much we do use prepared foods. From bouillon cubes to prepared salad dressing to family dishes that use powdered mixes or canned cream soups for bases... switching to this diet has meant overhauling my kitchen (made easier by letting my kitchen go almost bare for the move) and rethinking a lot of recipes and supplies.

There have been some mistakes. I baked muffins last week and substituted natural peanut butter for the butter, thinking peanut butter banana muffins would be yummy. The peanut butter was too thick and I ended up with peanut butter banana bricks. Then there was the vegetarian gravy recipe I made for poutine, with 2 tbsps of cornstarch. It was more like a savoury vegetarian jell-o. But the successes have majorly outnumbered the mistakes.

My son was so worried when I told him about this new diet. What was he going to eat? No more ice cream from the store? No more pizza pockets? No buying a couple of boxes of Kraft dinner? Those fears dissipated with the first batch of homemade ice cream and totally evaporated with the homemade macaroni and cheese. He just came over here now after squeezing his own apple juice with a garlic press. It was a tad lumpy but he was thrilled with it. "Look Mom, I made apple juice from scratch and it tastes really good!"

On top of the healthy eating, we have so many more options here, exercise wise. I've discovered a trail that starts a block from my home and runs right downtown, as well as a nearby conservation area. This evening I went downstairs to the gym and used the elliptical for a half hour then swam laps for 20 minutes. Tomorrow I think I'll try out the treadmill.

As for now, I think I'll go clean the garlic press.

We're here!!!

The move was hellish, which I think pretty much describes all moves. Our truck came an hour and a half late, or just in time considering the people moving out ahead of us were also an hour and a half late, and they sent the wrong sized truck and had to make two trips. Our last box came inside just before midnight and I woke early the next morning to boxes everywhere. Mazes of boxes and three confused cats wandering around crying. I also woke in a panic because we left both our bikes back at the old apartment. Luckily we hadn't turned in our keys yet (funnily enough management wasn't around at that time of night to accept them) so we grabbed the bikes on our way to drop off the keys.

Now the boxes are almost empty, all that's left is putting up the decorations and taking 200 photos to share with friends and family. Then I can finally relax and enjoy the last couple of days of my vacation before heading back to work.

When I was a child I loved vacations where we stayed in a hotel with a pool. To me it seemed unspeakably fancy to be able to just leave your room and go downstairs to swim. That's how I felt on Friday when we went downstairs to use the pool for the first time. It was miserable outside; cold, rainy and windy. But there we were, towels and bathing suits slung over our arms as we headed to the pool. It was wonderful splashing around, knowing our home was just an elevator away. This was when my son piped up and said "Mom, this feels so fancy" and I realized he knew just how I felt. The gym is right beside the pool and I noticed there's an elliptical and an exercise bike as well as a treadmill. I can go downstairs to work out then cool off in the pool.

Yesterday we went out grocery shopping for the first time since deciding to eat all natural foods. It was interesting. I couldn't get over how many additives there are in everything. Even things like flour, whipping cream, and cream cheese. But we managed to find everything we needed and lug it all home. Today I'm making soup stock, bread, and ice cream.

And now I'm using the Wii My Fitness Coach for the first time in a month!

The difference determination can make

Watch this video - just make sure you've got some Kleenex beside you. This is for anyone who ever thought they weren't strong enough or just wouldn't be able to succeed. You never know until you've tried... and tried... then tried again.

Something for me...

I went onto a digital scrapbooking store's website a few days ago, looking for a moving day scrapbook kit. However, when I typed "moving" into their search box, this kit popped up...

The colours drew me to the kit, then I saw "positive" and the shiny yellow sun. The more I read, the more I realized the kit was perfect for me. This move is going to be a positive change, a fresh start, a new beginning. I am going to have way more options, exercise wise, at our new home. I can't wait until I can scrapbook some new diet pages!

Ironically, when I went back onto the website to find the kit I'd bought, they had a new kit listed 20% off titled Celebrate {You}...

Colin looked at it and said, "You have to buy that for you". So I did. Luckily digital scrapbooking is a lot cheaper hobby than traditional scrapbooking. This kit cost me $4 and is my Mother's Day present to myself (both kids have told me in the past day they had no idea Mother's Day was this weekend so I'm expecting nothing).

And I had great news today. After a solid month of being told they'd know "today" when the current tenant of our new apartment is moving out, I finally heard from the superintendent and he's moving out on the 25th. Four days before our move. So I'll be able to go in early to clean and measure curtains. It's so nice knowing we'll be moving into a clean apartment.

And I'm off to do some more packing!

Feeling very positive!

I've been working hard on eating healthy and exercising. I haven't been perfect but I wasn't aiming for perfection. I've been eating only when I'm truly hungry, making healthy foods, exercising with the My Fitness Coach on the Wii, and eating minimal treats.

Yesterday my son and I went to visit friends. They have a workout room and a pool in their condo and we went downstairs to exercise for a half hour (then relaxed in the hot tub afterwards... what a treat). I've been wanting a picture of me exercising for my diet scrapbook but don't think cameras are allowed upstairs at the Y. I've never seen anyone taking a photo up there and they don't even have pictures of the exercise area on their website. First thing I did was get my son to take a photo of me on the elliptical.

I exercised with the My Fitness Coach this morning then went out for a walk with my Dad and my son (and my sister's dog). I made a big pot of lentil-vegetable stew for lunch today too (with plenty of leftovers for work).

I weighed and measured myself this morning and have lost two pounds. I've also lost half an inch off my neck, arm, hips, and thigh and an inch off my waist. Then I went onto SparkPeople and looked at my beginning numbers there from January 1, 2009 to compare to now.

January 2009..........February 2012
Weight: 212lbs........Weight: 170lbs
Waist: 44in...............Waist: 37in
Hips: 46in................Hips: 41in
Neck: 16in...............Neck: 14.5in

It didn't seem like much of a difference, day to day, but it sure adds up. Each "that food was so yummy but I am truly full and there will be yummy food again... I'm not getting seconds"... each "I'm not going to eat chocolate just because it's there... I'll wait until I truly want some than have a little bit"... each "I'm going to start my day off right with some exercise, I'll feel better than if I slept for an extra 20 minutes"... they all build up and make a huge difference by the end. One drop of water, by itself, is tiny. All together they make the ocean.

Last May I was so excited because I dropped down to 169lbs... for a day... after a wicked chest cold (I'd barely eaten anything that week). This time I know that I'll be in the 160's the next time I weigh myself and it won't be because of illness and lack of food. And I'll keep doing better from there.